You can be a positive force for yourself and those around you. By focusing on your energies you can lift yourself and your surroundings - and vice versa.
I have previously written a lot about human relationships, about positive and negative forces, about how we choose to use these different forces and how we let other people influence our lives either negatively or positively.
Text and photo by Trude Helén Hole
My message is clear – stay clear of people who hold you back and down, and always criticize what you do and want to achieve. Stay clear of people who suck energy (energy vampires) and who always whine and complain about the same things over and over again.
Stay clear of people who talk behind others’ backs – you can be sure that they talk behind your back as well.
In short, stay clear of people you don’t look forward to meet or people that you are getting tired of meeting, that drains your energy – keep them out of your life. It does not matter if they are family or if you have known them for a long time – they are not good for you. Period!
My main message is that you can train yourself to become a positive force for yourself and those around you. By focusing on and using your positive energies, you can lift yourself and your surroundings – and vice versa.
We let other people influence our lives either negatively or positively
I no longer associate with people as mentioned above. I simply leave them out of my life. So here is my two best advice in this matter;
1. First and foremost – surround yourself with positive energy and forces. In the picture belove, I am with my friend Gr who runs G-Photo. She belongs to a small group of people that I associate with who contributes with positive energy. It doesn’t mean that we don’t disagree about things, because we do. But we pull each other up – not down despite our disagreements and differences.
If good energies in human relationships change or become something else, perhaps less constructive or even destructive – then the relationship should also change and perhaps end.
2. My second message is therefore that you must become aware of the people around you. Be aware your feelings and make sure you know who fils you with positive energy – and who drains your energy, or give you negative energy. Get an overview, clean up and get rid of the mess in your life that drains you. That means people as well.
Leave the energy vampires in the trash. There is absolutely no reason to bring bring these further on your journey in life. They will stop you and/or create obstacles for you and keep you down to their level or lower.
My friend Gro and me.
So here we go – 10 toxid people you should leave behind
Well, I recently came across these ten “commandments” in Elite Daily which nicely illustrate my message – and I publish the commandments here in their entirety with permission. You will find my articles about energy balances and human relationships right here.
What you will accomplish in life greatly depends on the people you surround yourself with. Or, in other words, it greatly depends on which people you decide not to surround yourself with. When bringing in the new year, be sure not to bring all your garbage with you. Leave these toxic individuals in the past; you´ll feel much lighter, allowing you to get a great running start on the year to come.
1. The people who make your life more stressful. Stress isn´t necessarily a bad thing – in fact, it´s what you make it out to be. If you believe stress is bad for you, then it will be bad for you. If you use stress as the motivator it is, to motivate you to act, then stress can actually be rather healthy.
However, you should aim to only be stressed by situations and not by people. If you have people in your life who are constantly managing to stress you out, that´s your mind telling you – and trying to motivate you – to remove them from your life. Life is stressful as it is. You don´t need someone making it more so.
2. The people who use you. To be fair, everyone uses everyone – and usually it´s OK. We interact with others because we find that it will benefit us in some way. If we did not believe it would, then we would not find sufficient reason to interact with them. Sometimes we find people in our lives who use us in ways that end up hurting us.
Most people will use us and by doing so, either maintain or improve our wellbeing. Then you have those toxic individuals who use you and leave you worse off, sucking you dry and feeding off you like a parasite. These sorts of people have no place in your life; don´t bring them into your future.
3. The people who don´t respect you. Every respectful person deserves to be respected in return; that`s how respect works. If you find that you have a person or people in your life who have difficulty giving you the respect you give them, tell them to buzz off. Have enough respect for yourself to never allow others to disrespect you and remain a part of your life.
4. The people who always manage to hurt you. People can be silly sometimes. The people we keep a part of our lives are the people we care about – or at least, that ought to be the case. Some of these individuals, sadly, end up hurting us and causing us pain. The problem is that when others cause us pain, we?re reminded of how much those people mean to us. If they could hurt us emotionally, we must care for them and what they think of us a great deal – so we allow them to remain a part of our lives.
Often, we will even allow these individuals to take up more room. People hurt other people – it´s just the way the world works. But if you have someone in your life who can´t manage to stop hurting you, do yourself a favor and cut that person off. Pain is only good if it teaches you a lesson. In this case, the lesson is to stop allowing others to use you as a punching bag.
5. The people who can´t seem to stop lying to you. Everyone lies. In fact, within the first few minutes of meeting a new person, that person is likely to lie to you a handful of times. Most lies are harmless, but that all changes when the people who are lying to you are the people you trust. Fill your life with trustworthy people and you will be far better off. You can find lies just about anywhere. Finding the truth, on the other hand, is much more rare.
6. The people who smile to your face and then insult you behind your back. These are the scum of the scum, cowards that don´t have the guts to speak their minds. These individuals enjoy pretending to be your friend while telling the rest of the world that you are a piece of sh*t. Og her kan vi godt kalle en spade en spade – dritt, ikke dr*tt.
These people will ruin your reputation and, as most of us now know, reputation matters a whole lot in the world we live in. Only idiots would start a new year with these sorts of individuals in their life.
7. The people who don´t care about you, but love to pretend they do. We have all had people in our lives who act like our friends only when it´s convenient for them. These toxic individuals are «pseudo friends» – a lot of fun to hang out with, and more than willing to accept help, but when you need their help they are miraculously nowhere to be found.
These individuals are especially toxic because they give you the illusion of a safety net. You think you can lean on them for support, but when you reach for their shoulder, you fall over and hit the ground.
8. The people who drag you back into your old lifestyle. Life is only interesting and exciting if it´s constantly progressing. Only when we are constantly moving forward, constantly improving ourselves and our surroundings, are we able to find contentment and happiness. Most people always manage to keep people in their lives who are holding on to the life you once had.
You have worked hard to progress and make changes, but these individuals prefer life the way it used to be, and do their best to bring you back to the cave you just crawled out of. Be wary of these folks, they are often difficult to pinpoint and always manage to revert the progress you worked so hard to make.
9. The people who hold you back. There is a fact to life that I´ve grown to accept over the past few years – a fact that isn´t especially pleasant, but nonetheless necessary to accept as truth. Many people in your life, the people you call friends, shouldn´t be a part of your life.
As time passes, we change as individuals. Our hopes and goals change, often leaving the relationships we have in place outdated. Many of the people in your life likely don´t want to live the life you are building for yourself. Because they are egocentric, they will do their best to create their version of their ideal life and drag you into it.
Most times, people fail to create the life of their dreams because they surround themselves with people aiming for something entirely different. If your goals aren´t aligned, your lives aren´t either.
10. The people just taking up space. Everything in life is limited. Resources are limited. Time is limited. Space is limited. What you can accomplish within a lifetime is limited. We can´t, and never will be able to, have it all.
This is why you have to be very careful with not only what you choose to do, but with whom you choose to do it with. You can only maintain a handful of strong relationships at any given time – you just don´t have the time, energy or mental focus to handle more. If you are filling your life with half-assed individuals, you´re bound to create a half-assed life.
If someone isn´t adding to your life, then, by default, they are taking away from it.
So, my message is – leave that kind of people behind and build a new and better inner circle of people that do you good. That will be of great benefit for both you and your surroundings.
With this I wish you a wonderful day! Follow your dream – remember, one day they can be much more than just a dream, and spread love and joy wherever you go. 🙂
Live your life through joy, generosity and love – then the world becomes a better place to be for all of us.
Shortly about me/this blog – I am an author, journalist, artist, sommelier and traveller that have experienced a lot of beautiful places all over our amazing world. I have written articles for several magazines for more than three decades, and have written over 30 books, including more than 20 on the subject of wine. You can read my travel tips here – and my books can be found on Amazon, among other places.
If you want to cooperate, please feel free to contact me at: truhole@hotmail.no
Please join this blog if you like, by clicking the FOLLOW icon on the right. If you wan´t to add me at SOME or see my art or buy my books or wine courses – please do so. You will find all my SOME sites at linktr.ee/trudehelenhole. Thank you, and have a beautiful day with a lot of love and laughter.
Culinary Delights for Foodies and Wine Lovers – Perfect Pairings and Recipes to Elevate Your different Grape Experience. Understanding food and wine pairing is a Wine Lover’s Dream. In this series, we reveal simple key factors worth knowing to match the distinctive wine styles to different cuisines. Each pairing highlights the unique characteristics of the wine and its grape. Buy it on:
I have previously written a lot about human relationships, about positive and negative forces, about how we choose to use these different forces and how we let other people influence our lives either negatively or positively.
My message is clear – stay clear of people who hold you back and down, and always criticize what you do and want to achieve. Stay clear of people who suck energy (energy vampires) and who always whine and complain about the same things over and over again.
Stay clear of people who talk behind others’ backs – you can be sure that they talk behind your back as well.
In short, stay clear of people you don’t look forward to meet or people that you are getting tired of meeting, that drains your energy – keep them out of your life. It does not matter if they are family or if you have known them for a long time – they are not good for you. Period!
My main message is that you can train yourself to become a positive force for yourself and those around you. By focusing on and using your positive energies, you can lift yourself and your surroundings – and vice versa.
We let other people influence our lives either negatively or positively
I no longer associate with people as mentioned above. I simply leave them out of my life. So here is my two best advice in this matter;
1. First and foremost – surround yourself with positive energy and forces. In the picture belove, I am with my friend Gr who runs G-Photo. She belongs to a small group of people that I associate with who contributes with positive energy. It doesn’t mean that we don’t disagree about things, because we do. But we pull each other up – not down despite our disagreements and differences.
2. My second message is therefore that you must become aware of the people around you. Be aware your feelings and make sure you know who fils you with positive energy – and who drains your energy, or give you negative energy. Get an overview, clean up and get rid of the mess in your life that drains you. That means people as well.
So here we go – 10 toxid people you should leave behind
Well, I recently came across these ten “commandments” in Elite Daily which nicely illustrate my message – and I publish the commandments here in their entirety with permission. You will find my articles about energy balances and human relationships right here.
What you will accomplish in life greatly depends on the people you surround yourself with. Or, in other words, it greatly depends on which people you decide not to surround yourself with. When bringing in the new year, be sure not to bring all your garbage with you. Leave these toxic individuals in the past; you´ll feel much lighter, allowing you to get a great running start on the year to come.
1. The people who make your life more stressful. Stress isn´t necessarily a bad thing – in fact, it´s what you make it out to be. If you believe stress is bad for you, then it will be bad for you. If you use stress as the motivator it is, to motivate you to act, then stress can actually be rather healthy.
However, you should aim to only be stressed by situations and not by people. If you have people in your life who are constantly managing to stress you out, that´s your mind telling you – and trying to motivate you – to remove them from your life. Life is stressful as it is. You don´t need someone making it more so.
2. The people who use you. To be fair, everyone uses everyone – and usually it´s OK. We interact with others because we find that it will benefit us in some way. If we did not believe it would, then we would not find sufficient reason to interact with them. Sometimes we find people in our lives who use us in ways that end up hurting us.
Most people will use us and by doing so, either maintain or improve our wellbeing. Then you have those toxic individuals who use you and leave you worse off, sucking you dry and feeding off you like a parasite. These sorts of people have no place in your life; don´t bring them into your future.
3. The people who don´t respect you. Every respectful person deserves to be respected in return; that`s how respect works. If you find that you have a person or people in your life who have difficulty giving you the respect you give them, tell them to buzz off. Have enough respect for yourself to never allow others to disrespect you and remain a part of your life.
4. The people who always manage to hurt you. People can be silly sometimes. The people we keep a part of our lives are the people we care about – or at least, that ought to be the case. Some of these individuals, sadly, end up hurting us and causing us pain. The problem is that when others cause us pain, we?re reminded of how much those people mean to us. If they could hurt us emotionally, we must care for them and what they think of us a great deal – so we allow them to remain a part of our lives.
Often, we will even allow these individuals to take up more room. People hurt other people – it´s just the way the world works. But if you have someone in your life who can´t manage to stop hurting you, do yourself a favor and cut that person off. Pain is only good if it teaches you a lesson. In this case, the lesson is to stop allowing others to use you as a punching bag.
5. The people who can´t seem to stop lying to you. Everyone lies. In fact, within the first few minutes of meeting a new person, that person is likely to lie to you a handful of times. Most lies are harmless, but that all changes when the people who are lying to you are the people you trust. Fill your life with trustworthy people and you will be far better off. You can find lies just about anywhere. Finding the truth, on the other hand, is much more rare.
6. The people who smile to your face and then insult you behind your back. These are the scum of the scum, cowards that don´t have the guts to speak their minds. These individuals enjoy pretending to be your friend while telling the rest of the world that you are a piece of sh*t. Og her kan vi godt kalle en spade en spade – dritt, ikke dr*tt.
These people will ruin your reputation and, as most of us now know, reputation matters a whole lot in the world we live in. Only idiots would start a new year with these sorts of individuals in their life.
7. The people who don´t care about you, but love to pretend they do. We have all had people in our lives who act like our friends only when it´s convenient for them. These toxic individuals are «pseudo friends» – a lot of fun to hang out with, and more than willing to accept help, but when you need their help they are miraculously nowhere to be found.
These individuals are especially toxic because they give you the illusion of a safety net. You think you can lean on them for support, but when you reach for their shoulder, you fall over and hit the ground.
8. The people who drag you back into your old lifestyle. Life is only interesting and exciting if it´s constantly progressing. Only when we are constantly moving forward, constantly improving ourselves and our surroundings, are we able to find contentment and happiness. Most people always manage to keep people in their lives who are holding on to the life you once had.
You have worked hard to progress and make changes, but these individuals prefer life the way it used to be, and do their best to bring you back to the cave you just crawled out of. Be wary of these folks, they are often difficult to pinpoint and always manage to revert the progress you worked so hard to make.
9. The people who hold you back. There is a fact to life that I´ve grown to accept over the past few years – a fact that isn´t especially pleasant, but nonetheless necessary to accept as truth. Many people in your life, the people you call friends, shouldn´t be a part of your life.
As time passes, we change as individuals. Our hopes and goals change, often leaving the relationships we have in place outdated. Many of the people in your life likely don´t want to live the life you are building for yourself. Because they are egocentric, they will do their best to create their version of their ideal life and drag you into it.
10. The people just taking up space. Everything in life is limited. Resources are limited. Time is limited. Space is limited. What you can accomplish within a lifetime is limited. We can´t, and never will be able to, have it all.
This is why you have to be very careful with not only what you choose to do, but with whom you choose to do it with. You can only maintain a handful of strong relationships at any given time – you just don´t have the time, energy or mental focus to handle more. If you are filling your life with half-assed individuals, you´re bound to create a half-assed life.
So, my message is – leave that kind of people behind and build a new and better inner circle of people that do you good. That will be of great benefit for both you and your surroundings.
With this I wish you a wonderful day! Follow your dream – remember, one day they can be much more than just a dream, and spread love and joy wherever you go. 🙂
…………….@……………
Yours sincerely Trude Helén Hole
Norwegian author, journalist, sommelier, lecturer & artist
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Live your life through joy, generosity and love – then the world becomes a better place to be for all of us.
Shortly about me/this blog – I am an author, journalist, artist, sommelier and traveller that have experienced a lot of beautiful places all over our amazing world. I have written articles for several magazines for more than three decades, and have written over 30 books, including more than 20 on the subject of wine. You can read my travel tips here – and my books can be found on Amazon, among other places.
If you want to cooperate, please feel free to contact me at: truhole@hotmail.no
Follow this link to my media agency; New Spirit Communication
Please join this blog if you like, by clicking the FOLLOW icon on the right. If you wan´t to add me at SOME or see my art or buy my books or wine courses – please do so. You will find all my SOME sites at linktr.ee/trudehelenhole. Thank you, and have a beautiful day with a lot of love and laughter.
Find me at SOME
TM / ©trudehelenhole
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Culinary Delights for Foodies and Wine Lovers – Perfect Pairings and Recipes to Elevate Your different Grape Experience. Understanding food and wine pairing is a Wine Lover’s Dream. In this series, we reveal simple key factors worth knowing to match the distinctive wine styles to different cuisines. Each pairing highlights the unique characteristics of the wine and its grape. Buy it on:
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